Responsibility is a trait that most parents want to instil in their children. It’s also a good trait, as adults because we all need to fulfil our commitments and take responsibility for our behaviours and mistakes.
However, children are different from parents, and they still don’t fully understand how the adult world is. They are in a continuous developmental process, where their traits and personalities are fickle, and when healthy behaviours and ways of thinking are learned. Children learn from those closest to them, from their parents and family members.
Most parents confuse children with discipline and responsibility and think they are the same. Sometimes parents expect their children to obey their parents’ words, without question.
More responsible than this. It is about acknowledging your mistakes, bearing the consequences of your actions, being reliable, keeping your promises, and fulfilling your commitments.
But how can you, being a parent, by instilling children’s responsibility for their actions?
1 don’t Overreact
Children try to hide their mistakes because they think their parents will be angry or punished, and the children feel unloved in the family.
At the same time, a child may hide his mistakes. And we know that some adults do this for the same reason.
One of the mistakes most parents make is overreacting. They urged their children to take responsibility for their behaviour and forced them to apologize. It’s a good idea to avoid this behaviour because it will take revenge the next day.
2. Create a Trusting Environment
If you approach the situation calmly, your children will feel more compelled to discuss responsibilities and mistakes.
However, the fear of not being loved by your parents is a powerful one, and most children feel it at some point. This makes them hide their mistakes and take no responsibility for their actions or bear the consequences.
Tell your child that everyone made a mistake, and they experienced it. Acknowledging that you have been mistaken is difficult, but an honourable thing to do.
Thanks to them for being honest and letting them know that you will love them unconditionally. Empathize and relate to their struggle to be vulnerable and create an environment where they can trust you.
3. Learn from mistakes and fix them
One of the most important things children need to learn is to learn something from the mistakes they experience. Not only children but some adults too think that mistakes should not be repeated
The mistakes we make give us the most important lessons, and we should all see them as opportunities to learn.
Whenever your children are responsible for their actions and behaviour, you should not discuss their shortcomings, but the lessons they have learned.
For example, your child may forget to do his or her school work, which can lead to poor grades. Talk about it well, what makes it get bad grades.
Mistakes always give us important lessons, so make sure your kids understand them. This will help them avoid the same mistakes, and they will be held accountable for their actions.
4. Be a Role Model
Children will learn from their habits and behaviours from parents because parents are the closest to them.
Sometimes we as parents do not have time to give a good example (education) for children, because you need to work, to cook and take care of families..
Most of their time with parents sometimes seems careless, they pay attention to your behaviour, and they quickly learn it. The most problematic thing is that children learn unhealthy behaviours from their parents, so you need to be a role model for your children.
You can’t expect them to be held accountable for what they say or do if you never do this. The easiest way to teach a child something is to let him or her see that you are doing it too.
For example, you may experience difficult times when you feel everything is going wrong. And when your child does something wrong, you lose your temper, and you direct your anger at him. It’s important to give yourself a few moments to calm down and take responsibility for your words.
Let him know that there is a disturbing and annoying work problem. I’m sorry for overreacting. This doesn’t mean that what your kids are doing isn’t wrong. This means that you acknowledge that you are reacting in an unhealthy way.
Let your kids see you do this with your partner or friends. The more they see you are responsible for your behaviour and words, the more they will learn that these are healthy habits they need to adopt.
5. Slowly Increase Their Responsibilities
When children grow up, they will be able to take on more responsibility. However, the best thing you can do is slowly increase their responsibilities and not expect to do all their tasks from the beginning.
They need to understand the importance of tidying up their room, cleaning dishes they have used, or disposing of laundry. Some tasks need to be done not because we like to do them, but because they need to be done.
Explain to your children that it is important to throw away the laundry or wipe the table because it needs to be done. Point to the consequences of not doing this, such as getting to the point where she has no clean clothes. Don’t force your kids to take on too much work and slowly increase their responsibilities. Find the appropriate balance.